Proper Hypnosis Negotiation
Do you have any tips for how to negotiate hypnosis play?
Yes. So when I am negotiating hypnosis play, I ask for four individual lists, in Discord. And I ask for each list to be labeled, and each item on that list to be its own line. So I am able to pin them into our DMs, for easy locating while they are in trance. These four lists are…
Hard Limits:
Limit 1.
Limit 2.
Etc.
(Things you absolutely will not do, even if someone offered you $100.)
Landmine:
Landmine 1.
Landmine 2.
Etc.
(Things you know you don’t respond well to that the hypnotist should be aware of. Such as, if you are afraid of heights. “Saying falling.” may be a landmine. Or if someone has a common trigger in you you don’t want duplicated by someone else. Or anything else that the hypnotist may stumble upon accidentally which you know you won’t respond well to. I hate being called Sweetie. Out of trance its an annoyance, in trance its made me cry. So, “calling me Sweetie” is one of my landmines.)
Safewords:
Safeword to Pause and discuss.
Safeword to Stop all play and Start aftercare.
Safeword to Start play or Convey something is good for you.
(I work with a lot of people across the world. The Stoplight system seems to be pretty universal. Yellow = Pause, Red = Stop, and Green = Go.
You may chose other words. If you want to pick other words, chose words that make you feel safe, come to you automatically and that you are unlikely to say during a session.)
Hypnotic/BDSM Interests:
Interest 1.
Interest 2.
Etc.
(Things they like experiencing under trance. I will ask them to delete anything I’m not okay with doing. I also ask them a few of the things I am really into. If they are interested in those, too, I’ll ask for those interests to be added to the list.
Then we have a set pre-negotiated list I can pull from anytime I am working with them. If I’m doing a session in which one aspect isn’t working for either of us, I can easily let it go, look on their Hypnotic Interests list and snag something from there.)
I tell them they can edit these lists at anytime. I just need to be informed they have done so and what the edit is.
This is proper negotiation. Organized so the Hypnotist can easily look it up when they need it, even if the subject is deep in trance.
If you think this is good information, please reblog. Share this information. I often go to negotiate with new Calebs and they are surprised, and impressed, at how organized my negotiation is. The more people who know how to properly negotiate, the better it is for the community.
This. This is so important.
Freely given, informed consent is the cornerstone of what I do; as it should be for any hypnotist. To hypnotise someone without their informed consent is at best unethical, perhaps illegal. Erotic hypnosis without informed consent is certainly illegal.
In my country - the UK - for consent to be valid it must be voluntary, informed, and the person consenting must have the necessary capacity to make the decision. These terms can be defined as:
For practical purposes, this means that we need to have a conversation, before your hypnosis session starts, about what you want to do. There needs to be an agreement between the two of us about what will happen in the session, and I need to be satisfied that you fully understand what you’re agreeing to. If any of those things doesn’t happen, there can be no hypnosis.
I want to recount a conversation I had with a prospective hypnosis subject the other day. I’m hiding their name - for obvious reasons, but this is how it went, after the general introductions:
Me: So have you ever been hypnotised before?
Him: Yeah on here never in person.
Me: Cool, so what are you hoping to do with me?
Him: I was originally looking for a hypnotist to make me better in the gym. I don’t know what happened, but now I want to get hypnotised more and more.
Me: What kinds of things have you done with hypnosis before?
Him: I don’t know.
Me: You don’t remember?
Him: No
Me: Okay, no worries. Anything you want to ask me?
Him: How old are you?
Me: I’m 34
Him: What do you do to people you hypnotise?
Me: How do I hypnotise people you mean? There are a few different ways, from having them look at a spot, to relaxation and breathing exercise, and other things. It varies from person to person, because what works well for one person might not work as well for another. Everyone’s different.
Him: What do you do when they are hypnotised?
Me: That’s up to the person being hypnotised. Some people just want to experience hypnosis and see what it’s like, some want to do fun things - like you’d see in a stage hypnosis show, and others want to experience loss of control (like being a slave), or erotic/sexual stuff. But they’re all things we talk a out before a session to make sure that we’re both happy about what we’re doing.
Me: Anything else you’d like to ask?
Him: But on your Tumblr, what are you wanting?
Me: I’m not sure what you mean.
Him: You are wanting people to hypnotise?
Me: Yeah. Tumblr is always a good place to find volunteers.
Him: I want to volunteer.
Me: Okay, cool. Why do you wan to volunteer? Why do you want to be hypnotised by me?
Him: It would be for the best.
Me: What do you mean?
Him: Just needs to happen
Me: Okay, let me ask a different question. What are you hoping I’ll do with you in hypnosis?
Him: Anything you want. Just like your Tumblr.
Me: There’s lots of different things on there. Can you be specific about the kind of thing you’re looking for?
Him: Just do what you want.
Me: That’s not how it works I’m afraid. I can’t just “do what I want” because that would be unethical. Consent demands that I understand what you want and ensure that you both understand what you’re asking and give your informed consent. That’s the law; plus it keeps both of us safe.
Him: You have consent
Me: That’s not how consent works, lol. I need to know that you’ve understood the specifics of what you’re asking for, what that means, and what the effect of it is.
Him: I understand
Me: So tell me, specifically, what you want me to do.
Him: Anything you want
Me: Such as what?
Him: We are going around in circles I’m going to bed.
We were indeed going around in circles, but there’s a reason for that. I needed to know what this person wanted to happen in their session(s). Without that information, there’s no consent. Sometimes, people genuinely don’t know what they want and I can provide ideas, options, and alternatives - as I did above, when I explained about the different options. However, the process of choice still has to be led by the person asking to get hypnotised.
In the absence of any answers
from the person I’ve quoted about what he wanted, I couldn’t be sure
that he understood what he was asking for. In short, there could be no
consent, and so no hypnosis.
I’d like to say that this is a one-off example, or unusual, but it’s not. I probably have conversations like this once a week.
Be open, and be honest. If you don’t know what you want to do, say so and we’ll discuss options and possibilities. Most importantly, understand that I am not going to make decisions for you and that, “do whatever you want,” isn’t something that’s going to happen.
Once I get to know you, we’ve done a few sessions together, and built up a relationship of sorts, then there’s an opportunity for more ‘surprises’ to be built into your hypnosis experience. In your first session, though, it’s not going to happen.
Anyway, rant over. Just remember, I respect honesty and openness; if you’re evasive or I can’t be confident I have your fully informed consent to hypnotise you, I’m just going to pick someone else to do a session with.
There isn’t a hard maximum.
Although I prefer younger subjects, feel free to get in touch, explain what you’re looking for, and we can take it from there.
If you know me, you’ll know that I don’t lose my temper easily. But today, I’m angry. And I’m angry with a very irresponsibly hypnotist.
For some time, I’ve been aware of a guy calling himself “Hypnotistify”, “Louis Hypnosis”, and “Hypnotist__” online. He’s on YouTube, YouNow, and also apparently Skype. I’ve watched some of his sessions, and found them relatively entertaining.
Then, this popped up in my inbox:
First of all, I’m glad Chris (the subject in the video) is okay. What he experienced here is called an abreaction. It’s rare, but it can happen, and one of the most important parts of training as a hypnotist is understanding how to deal with it. Essentially, it’s about calmly reasurring them, bringing their awareness back into the room, and bringing them out of the hypnotic state before talking things through with them so they understand what happpened.
I’d recommend reading this, and this, if you want to know more about abreactions; but a quick search will uncover plenty of information.
Now, I’ve had connections drop out on me more than once during online sessions. That’s why you always prepare by reminding the person you’re hypnotising that, if that does happen, they’ll simply come out of hypnosis completely and be able to deal with whatever they need to. Frankly, that’s a pretty basic – and, I think, obvious – safety measure for any online session.
If I thought that was all that was wrong here, though, I’d find this situation a lot easier to deal with. But it’s not.
Underneath the video is this comment, which was evidently posted by the so-called hypnotist ‘Louis’:

Let’s get one important thing out of the way first, it is true that you can’t get stuck in hypnosis. Even without the safety suggestion I mentioned before, a person would, sooner or later, simply come out of hypnosis and be completely back to normal.
Now, onto the thing that’s really got my back up. Read Louis’ comment again. He says, “I had my suspicions … so I decided to see how you’d react, at least you got a video out of it right?” What does that say to you?
To me, it says that he deliberately abandonned Chris in the middle of a hypnosis session. At best that’s unethical, at worst it’s simply dangerous. Not only that, but my understanding is that he saw Chris having a, really quite serious, abreaction and still made the decision to cut him off.
I can think of only two possible reasons for Louis’ actions:
If it’s imcompetance, then this video is a shining example of why anyone who wants to practice hypnosis should seek out some form of training. Even if that training is simply reading books, or watching online tutorials, paying attention and learning what you’re doing can prevent situations like this happening.
If this is a case of pure maliciousness, on the other hand, which is what Louis’ implies in his own comment, then I really don’t know what to say except that I hope as many people as possible online see this and understand how dangerous working with an untrustworthy hypnotist can be.
Please either stop hypnotising people altogether or go out and get some proper training. It will be better for you and far, far better for your subjects. If you don’t, and you keep behaving like you have here, it’s only a matter of time before somebody sues you and you end up in court. You don’t want that.
I implore you to please, please ask potential hypnotists about their training and experience. You should only ever agree to let yourself be hypnotised by someone who have talked to, got to know, trust, and know the real identity of. At the very least, any reputable hypnosist will allow you to see and hear them on Skype (or whatever app you use).
As Chris himself says in the video description, “Being hypnotized can be a super fun experience, but it can also be extremely scary if not done correctly.” Have fun, by all means, but please stay safe while you’re doing it.
Cheers,
M
This was the scariest video i’ve ever watched….
Please message me directly. Different countries have different rules, so if you message me in confidence with your individual circumstances we can discuss it.
Of course ☺
Contact me and I’ll see what I can do for you!
Take a look at the ‘get hypnotised’ page on my Tumblr and get in touch.
Cuz believe me, I know I do
Always.
Yes.
Who doesn’t love some good material? ^^ yay
Send it all~~
I love hypnosis gifs, if you can’t already tell.
The whole stuff!! I’m willing!!
All the above!
Woo
Not usually. The privacy of my subjects is important, and I won’t be posting pics/videos of them here without their express permission.
Sure. Get in touch with your name, age, a photo, and contact details and we’ll set something up.
Consent matters in hypnosis. It’s wrong for anyone to try to make you do something you don’t want to, even (or perhaps especially) in trance.
That’s why I make a point of asking potential subjects up front what they want to get out of their hypnosis experience; and why we agree what’s going to happen in a session, before it starts.
But remember… consent is a flexible thing, and it’s completely okay to change your mind, or withdraw your consent, at any time. Whether you want to alter what’s happening in a session, or back out of getting hypnotised alltogether, you have an absolute right to do that.
Any hypnotist who tries to stop you is - at least - behaving unethically; and in some circumstances illegaly as well.
That said, if you do change your mind, I ask that you be honest and tell me.
Twice recently I’ve had potential new subjects back out just as we were starting a session… by ending the video call from their end, and blocking me. With not even a message to explain. Frankly, that’s just plain rude.
Especially when, as hypnotists, we give of our time for free. Believe me when I say that there’s good money to be made charging for what we do in recreational hypnosis sessions, if we choose to take it.
This isn’t selfishness, I want to know that you’re alright, and give you the chance to talk through any concerns or worries you have. Those who’ve chatted with me, or gone under with me, will know that I’m not evil, and that I genuinely care about YOUR welfare and want you to enjoy the hypnosis experience as much as I do.
So, please take the time to talk.
Remember: whether you get hypnotised is your choice, but so is good manners.
Just had the absolute pleasure of an all-too-brief session with one of the best subjects I’ve ever worked with. Thank you Tom, hope to do more sessions with you soon!
If you’re a teenager or in your early twenties, and want to go under, get in touch with a photo and your details and we’ll arrange a session.
Thanks
If you are chosen to be a subject, then I usually contact you within a day or two, often much sooner. I get too many requests to hypnotise than I can manage, though, so I do pick and choose subjects according to the criteria on my Tumble ‘Get Hypnotised’ page.
Send me your Skype id, name, and a pic. I’ll see what I can sort out for you.